Bare my soul Q&A: John Parry
By Peter Masters, Golf World
14 January 2011 12:02
England’s John Parry has had a great first year on Tour, winning the Vivendi Cup before his 24th birthday. He answered our probing questions:
What would your supernatural power be?
It would either be flying or being able to transport from one place to another at the click of my fingers. That’d be ideal!
What is the closest you have come to death?
I only passed my driving test a couple of months ago, so I’m not a great driver. But it’d have to be when I nearly drowned in a swimming pool on holiday when I was a kid. I went down the slide and found that the water was much deeper than I thought. I couldn’t really swim and just splashed about in a mad panic until I was able to grab onto the side. I can swim now, but I’m not that good.
Have you ever said ‘I love you’ and not meant it?
I don’t think I have. I’m a good guy like that.
What does love feel like?
I haven’t got a clue. I’ve never been in love. Hopefully, it’ll be good when it happens.
What is your oldest memory?
Can you remember things like this? My brother hit me in the face with a cricket bat, I remember that. He didn’t do it on purpose. We were in the garden and I was standing too close as the wicket keeper.
What has been your greatest kiss?
Not my first one. Probably on New Year’s Eve when you’re drunk, that’s usually a good one isn’t it? Can’t remember who it’d have been with though.
What is your worst trait?
I’m really lazy. I just can’t be bothered sometimes. When I go home and my girlfriend wants to go out, I find I’m knackered from the traveling and just want to crash out. Is that a bad trait? I’m scruffy too. My clothes are always strewn around the room and Gary Boyd, my room mate, is always complaining.
What trait do you most dislike in others?
Loud eating. I hate people that chomp on their food. My Dad does it and he has a jaw that clicks as well.
What would you go as to a fancy dress party?
The best I’ve seen was somebody dressed as a crayon. He coloured his hair and went wrapped in coloured paper, it was brilliant. Actually, there were about 10 of them – a whole pencil case!
Do you have any unappealing habits?
Picking my nose. I can’t help it, but I’ve got to stop. Even on the course when the cameras are on me, if I have an itch I have to go for it.
Do you have any pet hates?
Waiting for my luggage.
What is the worst thing anyone has said to you?
I’ve had a lot of people slag my game off. I just know there are people at my golf club, Harrogate, who don’t think I’m good enough.
Who would you like to say sorry to and why?
Probably the old man for not learning to drive until I was 23. He’s had to drive me everywhere. Driving bores me, so I never persevered with it.
When did you last cry and why?
It must have been a sad film. I don’t tend to cry in real life situations.
You’re in contention playing the last and you hit an errant drive which heads straight at a spectator. Do you hope it hits them and bounces back onto the fairway or misses them and goes into the bushes?
Hit them definitely. If it means I’m going to win a Major then there’s only one answer. It wouldn’t bother me at all. I’d give them my ball afterwards if they were still alive! Actually, don’t put that in. If they were hurt it would bother me!
Who in the world do you most admire and why?
Maradona. That’s a weird one isn’t it? I just think he was incredible. Not the most professional of sportsmen, but I watch him on You Tube sometimes just to see what he can do with a ball.
When were you happiest?
When I won a few weeks ago at the Vivendi Cup. It didn’t sink in until I was driving back to the airport. I was by myself and it dawned on me about halfway there.
Is there anything that frightens you?
Heights when there aren’t any railings. You know you’re not going to jump, but you get drawn to it.
When was the last time you lied?
Probably to my mates to get out of doing something.
Would you rather be clever and ugly or thick and attractive?
Clever and ugly, because it’s better for the birds. Or is it? No, thick and attractive.
If you could edit your past what would you change?
If I could do anything different, I’d have started training for golf when I was 13. I didn’t bother until recently. I’m small but I can hit it 280 yards. I reckon I can get another 15 yards by getting stronger.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
Lack of muscle. I’d like to be taller as well.
Dog or cat?
Cat. They’re less hassle and I don’t like big dogs, they scare me. My brothers and I used to rile up my grandparents dog for fun and it bit two out of the three of us.
Who would play you in the movie of your life?
Cremated or buried?
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Curry. I love currys. Chicken Madras, I like it on the border line to making your sweat. Plain Naan and Mushroom Pilau Rice, it never changes.
What is the worst trouble you got into at school?
I got caught skiving by the police once. My old man gave me a terrible rollocking.
What makes you depressed?
Playing badly. I missed the first three cuts this year.
Are there any words you overuse?
Jouster. My friends keep saying it and I’ve picked it up off them. It’s rude, you do it with a bird. We go out jousting!
If you had a time machine would you go forward or back?
Forward to see what happens in my career. I’d love to know.
What is your favourite smell?
When was the last time you were recognised away from the course?
Just after I won, I was coming out of my house in Knaresborough and I heard a schoolkid say to his mates, “Is that John Parry?” He then shouted, “Well played John.” It was very strange, I just sheepishly thanked him.
Give me a quote that you’ve never forgotten.
Fail to prepare and prepare to fail. My Uncle Glen used to say that to me, but in a nice way.
Golf or sex. If you had to give up one, which would it be?
I’d give up golf, you can always get another job can’t you?