Normally, when people want you to do a survey, it’s because they want to sell you something. They want to find out how what kind of cat food you buy and how often you buy it so they can use your love of Lord Fluffington to target you with relevant marketing and sell you stuff.
That’s not what this survey is about. We want to know about you as a golfer, so that every golfer can see where they stand. How many holes in one have you had? Is that more than most people your age, or fewer? Are your irons 10 years older than everyone else’s? Where does your handicap place you among the world’s golfers? All that, plus loads of other fascinating things.
The key thing here is honesty. If you’re not going to tell the truth, there’s really no point in doing it. Plus, a unicorn will die. Well, it might not. It might just catch a cold. But seriously, we’re not going to delve into the data and say, “Ooh, Dave Davidson hits his driver 9,000 yards and has had 11 million holes in one; let’s track him down and give him a prize”. And we’re not going to stick you on the cover under the headline ‘World’s worst golfer’ even if you lose 20 balls every time you play nine holes. So just be honest, or you’re ruining it for everyone.
With that all said and done, let’s crack on with the survey! As if the fun of comparing yourself to other golfers isn’t enough, there’s even a chance to win a Voice Caddie T1 GPS Watch worth £149.99. You can’t say fairer than that.
Stop saying “fairer than that”. It’s not big, and it’s not clever. Stop it. We can still hear you.