John Robins: “I watched live golf for the first time… and played in the pro-am!”
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Bad Golf star and Beef’s Golf Club co-host John Robins ticks some things off his golfing bucket list…
Ticking off items from my golfing bucket list shouldn’t be that difficult when you consider that one of the things on the list is “watch live golf”. But nothing could have prepared me for what would happen over a blissful four days at The British Masters.
First off, yes, I got to see golf live from the terraces and stands for the first time ever. This might surprise you, given that I’ve been writing a column about golf for nearly three years, but I’ve always been an armchair viewer to this point. There are few things I rank higher than toilet access when considering venturing to any kind of event, and here at Average Golfer HQ it’s a 1:1 ratio of toilets to spectators.
Watching the players fly balls over the water and plonk them on the iconic 18th Green would have been impressive enough, were it not for the fact that just a day earlier I’d confidently told my caddie to hand me a four hybrid, before doing exactly the same myself. Because, dear reader, I got to play in my first ever Pro-Am!
On the Wednesday I stood on the opening tee (the 10th) with DJ Locksmith, Carl Froch and Jorje Campillo to begin a round I had dreamed of for years. But let’s leave our group there, whilst I just take you back to an hour earlier on the range.
The way the range works at a Pro Am is it’s split half and half between the pros and the ams. To one side balls fizz gun barrel straight into the distance, to the other people set up iPhones to capture their hooked seven irons before deleting the videos and trying again.
Spaces were very limited and it took a while of walking up and down before I grabbed a spot next to Dan Walker. Now, Dan is an exception that proves the rule, he plays of +0.5, gifted as he is, with a natural swing that remembers to turn up even when he’s not hit a ball in three months. What I wouldn’t give…
So after chatting with Dan and salivating at his baby draw, I set to work remembering how to swing a club when a shadow fell over my bay. A few cameras position themselves. A hush descends. ‘Finally!’ I think to myself ‘Word has got out that none other than Today’s Golfer’s very own John Robins is here duffing balls and the world’s press has arrived’. Then a familiar voice says “Oh, a lefty! We’d better be careful we don’t lock horns”. I turn around to see British Master host, Sir Nick Faldo himself, has squeezed into the bay next to me.
I can remember very little else save desperately making sure my seven iron didn’t become tangled with Sir Nick’s legendary three iron as one iconic swing synchronized with one very suspect one. I did, however, get a chance to grab a photo of me standing next to a six-time major winner practicing with my chipper. Take that, Beef!
Back to the 10th tee. Our group of DJ, boxer and comedian seemed the perfect mix, Locky is a 10HC, actually 9.9 which I made sure to remind him meant was technically single figures. Froch is somewhere around bogey golf, and I’m off 14. The format was that the pro would tee off from the back tee, then the three of us from the members’ tee, and we’d then play on from the best drive, with the Pro playing their own ball. It was a tour scramble, so only net birdies counted (a rule we came to really appreciate as the round went on).
For the first twelve holes I have to say we played great, and even though I couldn’t hit a driver for toffee, my irons and hybrids were on fire. We all struggled off the tee, but turns out, when you’re playing with a tour pro as good as Jorje Camillo, you can be pretty sure you’ll be on the fairway.
There is something otherworldly about walking up to your drive, and seeing the ball of the person who teed off from thirty yards behind you, sitting up about 100 yards in the distance. As if you needed telling, the chasm between golf pros and average golfers isn’t a chasm at all, it’s an ocean.
However… I think I’ve been self-deprecating enough about my golf over the past few years to allow myself a little brag. Like I said, my irons were really firing. And I managed to get inside the pro on every par 3. This was twice down to a good shot, once down to an incredibly lucky thinned six iron, and once down to a mistake in club selection from David Laws who joined us for the back nine. BUT THE RECORD STILL STANDS!
After 12 holes we were in contention at -18 under (it’s a great format for the ego!), helped by my magic/luck on the par 3s and Carl Froch chipping in for eagle on the 11th. But, in a tale as old as time, we got the leaderboard yips. Unsurprisingly I’ve never before played in front of a 50ft digital leaderboard displaying my score, but when we looked up and saw our team name tied for second place we smelled prizes. Unfortunately, our clubs smelled trees and water, and from then on I can’t actually remember us hitting a single fairway.
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John Robins experienced live pro golf and a pro-am for the first time
