Friday 22 July
I'm not going to make it. I'm not going to be a scratch golfer. There, I said it.
When I'm playing well and I'm 'in the zone' I believe I can do it. People I play with say I hit the golf shots of a scratch golfer – and I believe I do. But when the pressure is on and I need to produce I find that I fall apart.
When I'm standing over shots more worried about where I don't want the ball to go than where I do then I can still struggle to break 100. So, I'm not going to make it.
Somewhere I'm quoted as saying, "The second I don't believe I can do it, I may as well give up." So am I giving up? Absolutely not.
I have two months left to get as good as I can get. In my last blog I explained how this will be measured and, whether it's scratch or it's nowhere near scratch, I will still have had the most fantastic year of my life.
So now that the pressure is off I can go out and enjoy these last few weeks. I can stop standing over golf shots so fearful about what will happen next that I can barely swing a club. I'm going to relax and enjoy it. But I'll still be working hard to reach my goal, or as close as I can.