bubba-claus

Most of us won’t be unwrapping any presents until the 25th of December, but golfers live in a world where the 2016 season started weeks ago, so they can’t be blamed for being a bit premature when it comes to opening their gifts. Judging by their reactions, some of them clearly made Santa’s ‘nice list’. Others, not so much…

“Wow! This is great! I love it!

…

What is it?”

“This yoyo is rubbish.”

“THEY SAY IT GIVES YOU WINGS BUT I’VE DRUNK 14 BOTTLES AND I STILL DON’T HAVE ANY WINGS HAHAHAHAHA! HEY, I CAN SEE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS WAVING AT ME! LET’S STAY UP ALL NIGHT AND PLAY TRIVIAL PURSUIT, THEN WE’LL SEE WHO’S OVERRATED! Is that tree looking at me funny? Can you hear ringing? Are my teeth dancing? I feel a bit weird. Mum?”

“Oh coooool, a really long… gold… stick… thing. This will come in so handy! The identical one I got last year never leaves my side.” 

“Jim, I know your auntie gives you soap every year but you’ve really got to try to look pleased this time.” 

“Disney Dance Party! Get in!”

“Try harder, Jim.”

“American Golf? Hi, yeah, I was just wondering if you do refunds? It’s a cap. Yeah, I just literally can’t get it on my head. I think maybe it’s a kids’ size with the wrong label on it. Yeah, I’ll hold.” 

“I’m still not feeling it.”

“It’s a cushion, right, and when you sit on it, it makes it sound like you farted!”

“That’ll have to do.”

“A coin from the year I was born. Right. Well that’s grand, to be sure.”

“I really wanted one of those cool hoverboards but mum says they’re too dangerous.”

“No, honestly, it’s great. This is my excited face. I’m sure I can get the arms lengthened a bit.”

“Oh, so you went off-list?”

“It’s the world’s tiniest flute.”

“A ticket to Rio. It’s what I’ve always wanted.”

“Mum said I have to wear it.”

“These invisible binoculars are sweeeeeet!”

“Please be a new back. Please be a new back. Please be a new back.”

“Oh. A giraffe. That’ll be… handy. Oh look, I can see his testicles.”

“Maybe just get me vouchers next year, Gran.”

MORE BRILLIANT BITS ON TG: 

17 things about golf that make no sense whatsoever

Patrick Reed: “I don’t care what people say about me”